


HATHORS

by marshmallownose



Category: House of Anubis
Genre: Gen, Girls Being Girls, Hathor house represent, Literally just a mini outsider perspective of what they think Sibuna is actually doing, might add more stuff later but it's just fluff, outsider pov inspired by PUFFS, probably not funny, somehow now my brother is in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marshmallownose/pseuds/marshmallownose
Summary: or alternatively,Everyone thinks those Anubis House kids are weird as hell.
Relationships: OC & OC
Comments: 7
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Literally this is nonsense. Dedicated to HOA twitter and Tumblr. I'm gonna do more of these crack-shots with more people in the fandom but for now just enjoy.

There was no other way to describe the students in Anubis House except for _really weird._

At least, that’s what the students in Hathor House always thought.

Tess sighed as she watched Nina, Amber, and Fabian whispering together from across the room, all excited and passionate about something. Then, they got up and scurried out of the student lounge. That was dumb; she knew for a fact they had science together next period. At least, Tess thought they did. Wasn’t like they ever showed up.

“Hey, Marley,” Tess said, poking her friend and roommate with her foot. “What do you think the Anubis kids do all the time?”

“The who?” asked Marley distractedly, probably playing _The Sims_ on her laptop.

It was Scarlett, another housemate of theirs, who cut in. “Oh, come _on_ , Marley. The Anubis kids. _I_ know what you’re talking about, Tess.”

She smiled at the blonde. “Thanks. But seriously how have they not flunked out of school. I don’t think I’ve seen them in class in like three weeks.”

“Maybe they’re off saving the world, and they don't have time for school” Scarlett suggested, trying not to laugh, and Marley finally looked up with a snort.

“Don’t be silly,” she said. “They’re probably going off to smoke by that creepy-ass crypt in the woods.”

“You think _Fabian Rutter_ and _Nina Martin_ smoke weed?” Tess asked, looking at her friend with a raised brow. "I doubt they even know what it looks like. _Maybe_ Amber I can see."

“Why not?” Marley replied. “They hang out with Patricia and Alfie, and you know they light up at least once a week.”

“She’s got a point,” Scarlett said, and Marley winked at her with a grin.

Tess rolled her eyes. “And the only reason _you_ know is because you join them.”

Marley shrugged casually, shutting her laptop as the bell rang to end their free period. “Did I ever deny it?” she said with a waggle of her eyebrows.

The three Hathor residents laughed and scooped up their bags, heading off to their respective classes. The weirdness of the Anubis House kids was forgotten, for that day at least.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already back with more shenanigans

“What do you think of the new business studies teacher?” Brennah asked Tess one day as they walked down the hall to their shared French class.

“I only have her for history, but yeah Denby seems chill,” she replied, blowing a large bubble with her gum. “Keeps absolutely _roasting_ the Anubis caretaker whenever he barges in, so that’s fucking hilarious.”

“Yeah, I noticed that too,” Brennah laughed, stopping by her locker to pull out her textbook. “Why do you think he’s always at the school? Isn’t he supposed to be, you know, taking care of the house?”  
  
“Who’s always at school?” Laura asked, joining them by the lockers. Max and Eddie—not Eddie Miller from Anubis House, because let’s be real he wasn’t even in class that day…not that he ever was. Plus Eddie from Hathor was a girl anyway—had been walking along together, and clumped with them too.

“That creepy old dude who runs Anubis House. Vincent? Victor? I don’t know,” said Tess, twirling her bubblegum with a finger. “I’m just glad he’s not in charge of _us.”_

“Yeah, I heard he stuffs animals for fun,” Eddie said, and Laura made a face.

“I hear he stuffs children, too,” Max chimed in, wiggling his fingers and adding a ghostly _‘oooooo’_ at the end.

“That’s just called taxidermy,” Brennah said, sending the girls a look that clearly said _‘This boy, I swear!’_

Max blinked. “Wait…stuffing children is taxidermy?” he asked and Eddie facepalmed.

“No, dumbass,” Tess laughed. “And stop saying _‘stuffing children’;_ it sounds dirty.”

“Get to class, you lot,” Mr. Sweet interjected with a fond tone, and they all reluctantly dispersed. “And, Tess, please spit out your gum.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe there will be a follow up, but this was a quick thing I wanted to do lol

“We are _so_ fucked,” Tess said in a sing-songy voice as the entirety of Hathor House watched Isis House go through their militarized stretching.

Emily reached out and covered Max’s ears, much to his chagrin, while Laura and Benny laughed. “Will you cool it with the language? I won’t have you corrupting him.”

Marley and Eddie proceeded to shout profanities until Mr. Sweet shot a dirty look in their direction.

“Listen, we’re not nearly as screwed as Anubis House,” Alex pointed out, nodding in their schoolmate’s direction. “At least _we_ all know how to play.”

Kat frowned sympathetically over at the lion costume sulking in the corner. “At least we all _get_ to play.”

“Oh, I’m sure Fabian is fine,” Scarlett said. “He should be _happy_ he doesn’t have to play. I know I wish I wasn’t being forced to fill a spot.” She shot Marley an irritated look, and Marley held up her hands in defense.

“It’s not my style, you know that. Besides, Tess and Eddie are good, they’ll keep you safe and sound.”

“Yeah, until Tess doesn’t want to throw the ball back at the other team,” Eddie snickered. “Then again, no one in Anubis should be much of an issue.”

Tess stuck her gum-covered tongue out at her friend. “The only kids on that team I’m worried about are Sweetie and Mara,” she said, blowing a bubble. “They’ve got some pent up aggression, I just know it.

Max grimaced. “I hope not. I really don’t want to get beaten to death by Isis House, and then also get my ass handed to me by Mara Jaffray.”

Emily gestured at Max. “ _This,”_ she said. “This is why you three need to watch your language,” she said pointedly.


	4. Chapter 4

“Why are you so tall?” Marley asked Eddie one day while they were all sprawled out in the living room.

Eddie paused and looked up from her French homework. “What?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Tess piped up from the kitchen where she and Scarlett were baking cookies. “You’re like Paul Bunyan. What are you, like seven feet tall?”

Eddie spluttered something that suspiciously sounded like “Who is Paul Bunyan?”, while Marley nodded sagely.

“Yeah, I think it’s the British in her.”

Scarlett was laughing, but Tess just frowned. “No, because Scarlett is short like you, so that can’t be it.”

“Hey!” Scarlett exclaimed. “Leave me alone, I might still grow.”

Marley, Tess, and Eddie all laughed just once. Scarlett pouted.

“Shut up, Tess,” Marley said, saving Scarlett from the indignity of being a short British person. “You’re like two inches taller than me.”

“Yeah,” said Eddie. “You’re still short.”

“I’ll have you know I’m average.”

Eddie smiled sarcastically. “Glad you said it and not me.”

“Hey—“

“Oh, pipe down, Eddie,” Scarlett crowed. “Just because you’re freakishly tall doesn’t mean you’re better than us.”

“I didn’t even start this!”

“Not so big and bad now, are you, Eddie?” Marley laughed.

“I can beat your ass whilst crying,” she replied, throwing a pencil at her housemates’ head.

“Go on,” Marley said. “I dare you.”

There was a beat of silence, then suddenly Eddie leapt off the couch and tackled Marley into the armchair.

Tess turned to Scarlett. “I’m betting on Tall Girl just because her limbs are freakishly long.”

Scarlett nodded. “Guess I’ll take my 5’2 brethren.”

They shook on it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to my poor older brother who has somehow become an object of desire.

“I’m just letting you know, my brother is visiting today, so please don’t be weird.”

Marley perked up, spitting out her toothpaste-spit into the sink. “Jon’s coming?” Tess groaned when her roommate stretched her body around her to screech down the hall: _“EDDIE! TESS’ BROTHER IS COMING TO VISIT!”_

Eddie poked her head out of her room, unbrushed hair flying. “The hot one?” she asked hopefully.

“Oh my god,” Tess whined. “I hate when you call him that. He’s like seventeen years older than me.”

Marley rolled her eyes. “Age is just a number, dude.”

Eddie snorted as she walked down the hall to the bathroom. “Keep that energy up when you’re in prison for catching a case, _‘dude.’”_

Marley made a mean face at Eddie, when suddenly a voice piped up: “Are we talking about Tess’ hot brother again?”

Tess, who was standing in the hallway, jumped a foot in the air when Max appeared beside her. “What the fuck?” she yelped. “Why are you even up here?”

Max grinned. “I was summoned by your sexy family.”

Tess groaned, while Eddie, Marley, and Max laughed at her. “You’re all sick in the head,” she complained. “I’m transferring to Anubis House.”

“You think _they’re_ not sick in the head?”

“…Good point.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tess meets Robsin in the Gatehouse. Is he really an asshole or is he just in need of an acting lesson?

“It was really nice of you to meet with me one on one for this drama unit, Ms Denby,” Tess said, ducking under her teacher’s arm into the impressive brick structure she resided in. “Now, I don’t think I really need the extra rehearsal, but our script could use some tightening up. Marley and Lily wanted to make it about a cheater getting his comeuppance, but from what I’ve heard, Anubis House has dibs.” She blew a bubble with her gum, followed by a loud pop and a low whistle as she gazed around the ornate interior. “Wow, you have a lovely home. Nicer than Hathor, anyway.”

  
Ms. Denby flashed her a tightlipped smile and shut the door behind them. “Yes, so I’ve heard. Why don’t you come upstairs? I can fix us some lunch while you meet with my, erm, actor friend.”

“Oh?” said Tess, starting up the steps. “I haven’t worked with an acting coach in a long time.”

“Well, I hope you get to work with him much more in the future,” her teacher hummed, an eerie expression on her face.

“Ooookay, sounds good,” Tess replied, blowing another large bubble. What a weirdo. I honestly think something about this school makes people crazy.

They arrived at the top to find a man pacing furiously in the sitting room, muttering to himself; Tess eyed him with a bemused raised eyebrow.

“Rob…sin?” Denby prompted awkwardly, and the man whirled around to glare at her. “We have a visitor.” When his eyes fell on the young student, his expression darkened sinisterly.

_God, I fucking hate men,_ Tess thought, but took a deep breath. She was an actress—skilled, adaptable, poised—and she was trained to deal work with people she was uncomfortable with.

“Oh, do we now?” Robsin purred, stalking toward them, and Denby gave Tess a small nudge towards him before disappearing down the stairs. “A young, _proud_ actress, are we?”

“Well, no,” she corrected, and Robsin blinked, “ _we_ are not an actress. I am.”

He blinked some more.

“Unless I just assumed your pronouns, in which case, my bad totally.”

“What? No, ugh!” Robsin grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her further into the room. “I can already tell you’re going to be a total nightmare…but I can work with you.”

_This dude is either a flaming misogynist or is just pulling my dick. Maybe both,_ she thought. She shook it off, trying to be nice for Ms. Denby’s sake, and pulled out her notebook. “Okay, should I, like, show you what I have of the script?”

As fast as the notebook was in her hands, it was out of them, smacked to the floor by Robsin’s beefy man hand. “No, I don’t want to see any of your trivial little ramblings. I’m sure they’re pathetic.”

It was Tess’ turn to blink. “Errrrr…okay?” _Oh, he’s def pulling my dick,_ she thought, and was almost impressed.

He got up close in her face, contorting his expression in all manners of hilariously grotesqueness. “Yes, and doesn’t it just spike such unbridled rage in you?”

A memory sparked in the back of her mind, and she couldn’t help it; she burst out laughing, right in his ugly mug. “Oh, oh my god. I’m so sorry did I spit on you?” 

Robsin slowly wiped his eye, face turning a spectacular shade of purple.

“It’s just—hold on, gimme a second.” Tess laughed harder. “It’s just I remembered Willow telling me about you and how you were just as out there with her. Which is saying something, because she’s out there, you know?”

Robsin was beginning to visibly vibrate. “I know,” he ground out.

Tess picked up her notebook and took a few steps back. “You’re trying to incite anger right?” she asked, still chuckling. “I admit you almost had me there, but it was a little too over the top.”

Robsin narrowed his eyes, offended. _“‘Over the top’?”_

She smiled sympathetically. “Yeah, but don’t worry. I actually took a summer class about channeling emotions through theatre. I can help you give a more convincing performance if you’d like.”

Robsin paused, seeming to mull it over. Finally, he said, “Actually, would you? I feel like I’m losing my touch.”

Tess grinned. “Okay! So first we need to walk around the space…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will probably add other Hathor House kids meeting RFS to this, but I wanted to start with myself lol


End file.
